How NOT to watch Twilight...

So, I've read all the Twilight books. I was introduced to them a couple summers ago and really liked them. I'm not sure why I liked them, because I can see the same flaws in them that everyone mentions. I'm not in love with Edward, or Jacob. (Actually, DH has some of Edward's qualities, so a lot of the book(s) reminded me of him. Of course, he also has some of Napoleon Dynamite's qualities, so yeah.. moving on...) Anyway, I really like them. When I started reading them, I didn't know they were a big deal. I hid the outer cover when I was reading them at a family reunion, (making it look like a nice old classic book, and making me look intelligent for reading it. Everyone probably thought I was reading Emerson or Thoreau.. Quite impressive disguise if I do say so myself...) and when Jerrod told one of his cousins I was reading a Vampire book, I did a fantastic job of looking shocked and embarrassed and denied it completely. Then when he mentioned Werewolves, we were all having a nice laugh because of course I wouldn't really be reading a book about that. Um.. Yeah.

So when I found out they were popular, I was pretty disappointed. Really disappointed. I think I wanted to share it with my friends etc., but I didn't want the whole world to know about my Forks, Bella, Charlie, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Edward, and Jacob. That disappointment rapidly disappeared when I realized that because of Twilight's popularity, they were making a movie!!

So back in January, when they announced the cast members, I was telling everyone I knew about it with as much (probably more) enthusiasm as I was telling them we were pregnant. (Hey, I was sick, and that was then, now that he's here, Helam is TOTALLY better than Edward. Any day.)

So throughout the summer, I'd watch like every update on the official Twilight website, looking for updates on both the book and the movie. I didn't go to the midnight book release, but I got it the next day. I was REALLY looking forward to the movie, and to watching it with my husband. (Who was probably as excited as (if not more excited than) me to see it.)

I turned down an opportunity to get tickets to watch it on the sold out release day (He's good at making the right connections..) and wanted to postpone it until it wouldn't be so crowded, and we could go with our baby.

Thanksgiving weekend. We are at my parents house, joking about Twilight. (I like it, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good joke at it's expense.) Then my dad decides to show us how cool he is, and how unlike the rest of EVERYONE, he doesn't have to wait until it comes out on dvd to watch it on his computer. Without me realizing what he was doing, he spends about a half hour looking for it, finds it then tells us that Twilight was on tv. I didn't want to be rude, so I went down and was watching it with him. So, the version that he had (cough...illegally..cough...though the website says that if the owner of the copyright contacts them they'll take it down :eyesrolling: ) was made to be compatible with a computer screen. Not a 52 inch screen. It looked like a really old bad home video, like when in movies they show really old home videos that the movie characters are watching. It was horrible quality.

Add to that my movie watching companions. My dad. My 13 year old brother. My husband and baby (who admittedly would have been with me no matter where I watched it.) Not another drop of estrogen in the room. We were laughing at all the wrong parts, and I don't think it's possible to really enjoy Twilight with some guys who haven't read the book, so they don't know what's going on, and why Alice is so adorable, and any of the back story with Mike Newton. (Who was also adorable.) They just didn't get it. Then it timed out after 72 minutes, and we had to wait 54 to see the rest of it. During that time, I got upset because Jerrod was doing homework, so as a matter of principle, I had to keep fuming at him throughout the rest of the movie. The second part of the movie we watched on kitchen chairs at the table.

Anyway, my advice. Don't download free movies online. Watch Twilight in the theater. (I'm still planning to.) When you do, either watch it with your husband (who loves either Twilight, or you, or both) or a bunch of girls. Not with a bunch of vampire illiterate men.

On the bright side, right after that, we found a bunch of old school Strawberry Shortcake shows on YouTube. And as evidence that I am raising my girls correctly, they loved those SO much more than the new version.

So, did you see Twilight? Like it?