Resolutions

I really love New Years! It's like a fresh piece of paper just waiting for me to write on it! What magic will I create when my ink touches the parchment? I love the anticipation and every year I'm convinced that this will be the year where I will become skinny, I will probably learn a new language, I will read and reread any and all the classics, maybe write a bestseller of my own, and I'll start and most likely perfect a new creative skill and either draw pictures of all my friends and or their children for nice personal gifts, start calligraphy and make sweet sentimental gifts for people, I have my card box full to write personalized thank you cards to basically everyone I come in contact with from the person who spoke on Sunday to the grocer who was friendly. I completely fall in love with the person I can become in less than a year's time. Seriously, I could be awesome.

I think part of the excitement is that I really could do all these things. I think seeing my inner potential is exhilarating and frightening. The part that fills me with melancholy is that I never end up doing these things. They somehow fall by the wayside, and go to the land of lost dreams and intentions and possibilities. The loss of these possibilities stings a bit.

My whole life I've been blessed to be surrounded by absolutely amazing people to whom I would never measure up. I've always felt that if I could do something awesome, someone would recognize the something special inside of me, and somehow some of their magic would wear off on me and somehow suddenly I would transform into someone as awesome as basically everyone around me.

I think what needs to happen is I need to see the absolutely amazing in myself. This year I need to find a way to reconnect with me, and establish a relationship with the Giver of life and light. I need to come to a point where what matters to Him is what matters most to me. I need to accept myself and my family when I feel others don't, and be okay with that. I need to realize that I am enough and finally realize that I am someone special. I think I have an amazing talent for seeing the great in everyone around me but myself. I can see how the gospel and the Atonement and prayer and the Holy Ghost etc. will work for anyone except me. I am blessed and grateful to have a firm testimony in the Savior, the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith and the restored gospel, I just don't have a testimony of my value to any of it, or anything really, and this year, that is what I need to improve.

Anyway, so that is that. If you have any insights or experiences on how to go about actually doing that, I'd really love to hear them either in comments or in a personal email to tenisewertman at gmail dot com.

On second thought, maybe that bestselling novel isn't such a bad idea...

Welcome!

Today is the first official day of Autumn.

Hooray!!!

First let me admit that I had a beautiful wonderful awesome summer, filled with many magical experiences with some amazing people (3 of whom I'm blessed to call my children) and I will miss this summer deeply. Sniff. Sniff. I mourn it's loss. ...

K. Now moving on...

I. love. Autumn! It's my favorite season all the way! I love it when that first bite of fall touches the air, when those last days of summer seem to linger until suddenly the first nips of pink kiss your nose and cheeks, and Heaven starts to produce one of it's most glorious masterpieces. I get weak in the knees at the thought of pencils, plaid and pumpkins. I relish the coziness of apples, cinnamon sticks, flannel and *sweaters*!! I start feel as though there is nothing better than a used book boutique and the anticipation of getting comfortable with an old copy of something classic. Potpourri, thick candles, and large wreaths start to seem strangely appealing. I love it when the ground is dressed in an exciting layer of reds, yellows and brown and every step I take is rewarded with a delightful crunch. Autumn awakens the nostalgia in me. I feel drawn to old black and white photos, my mother's old recipes, and reminiscing with people who are dear to me.

I also like that once daylight savings time hits, I can get away with putting my kids to bed an hour earlier.

So sweet

The girls made me breakfast in bed. They did it completely on their own from idea to execution. It was oatmeal, toast and orange juice along with a Thank You card. Sariah wrote the message, "Thank you for being such a greaght mom." Then Essi colored the picture Sariah colored. On the top of the oatmeal Sariah sculpted an oatmeal rose. I think what touched me the most and was the most special was that for that one morning they were working as a team and I was able to wake up to them happy and united in the spirit of service instead of to their normal squabbling.

Smelly kids...

I love the smell of sunscreen on kids. That smell embodies so much of everything wonderful about summer. I love smelling it while snuggling my young ones right before an early bedtime and after an exciting day that leaves them happily exhausted.

All little girls are princesses... Perhaps.

As I was pinning up Essi's hair this morning she said she felt like a princess and asked if she was one. "Of course." I replied. "All little girls are princesses. You are a child of God, and he's a king, so that makes you a princess."

Essi looked and me unconvinced and responded with a question. "Do princesses go to the bathroom?" (Yes...) "Well do princesses poop?"

Me: Of course they do.
Essi: Um, I don't THINK so. Because they never show it on movies.

So there you have it.

If you're happy and you know it...

Helam learned how to clap yesterday. Jerrod was working with him on giving five, and I thought I'd add to that with clapping. The boy's a champ. Now every time I say YAY! He'll stop what he's doing and clap. He's still learning to get his hands to connect, so it's sometimes a bit slow. It's been really funny. Today, he's hurt himself a couple times and was crying, (10 months is a tough age) but if I say, "Yay!" he starts clapping even while crying.